Day 99 - Living for each day

I think one of the hardest parts of being in a financial bind is just the feeling of being in so deep. Sometimes I wonder how we will ever get out of it. I still want to own a big house, buy my kids cars, send them to college and travel with my husband, but it feels like that dream gets further and further away with every passing minute. So many dreams feel so far away right now.

I guess what keeps me going is my belief that anything is possible. I think my faith is allowing me to live for each day; even more in the sense of not letting my wants cripple me. If I say, "not fair" because I don't have what I want, I will waste days, weeks and years feeling like I should have more. If I can live today with joy, faith and belief that things will work out then I can stop worrying about what the future holds. I don't want to miss any of the blessings along the way. In times like these the small blessings are the world; I appreciate being able to buy something, going out to dinner, seeing my children thrive, laughing out loud and giving a gift. If I am too busy feeling entitled to all the things I don't have, how will I notice all of these small gifts?

Trust me, I am still struggling with this. My house is the perfect example. I miss owning our own home and living in a place that feels like it is mine. I miss choosing a home because it feels like "us." I feel like there is something missing where we live right now, maybe it's my heart, but I have to remind myself that this house is a blessing. When we had run out of time and had to move, God provided us this house that had everything that we needed and at an amazing price (he knew Mark would be unemployed, but we didn't). We are so lucky to be here and I know that. I'm not kidding when I say that a few times a week when I feel displaced, I have to remind myself that this is one of the best blessings God has given us in our time of need and then I literally thank Him for it. I do! Being thankful for what I do have makes things so much better and makes me so much more joyful. Attitude really is everything.

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." -Matthew 6:34