Day 103 - Disappointment

I cannot count the number of times my husband has said, "don't get your hopes up." He has said it at least three times over the last few days! I get my hopes up pretty easily; it's part of my nature. This has prepared me for a lot of disappointment, especially over the last few years when my hopes have been crushed a lot. I am optimistic enough to believe that it can all happen, but sometimes it just doesn't. However, I do see that most of the times when I have been disappointed I realized later that something much better was around the corner, which is an amazing feeling!

Right now I have my hopes up for a couple of things. First, I really believe that Mark will find a job soon (by the way please pray for an interview he has on Friday). Second, I really want Brody to be able to go to a new charter school that has everything I could want for him. If too many people apply for his grade level then it will go to a lottery system. I can't say that I have fared too well with lottery systems in the past. The more I think about the school, the more I want him to go. I will be really disappointed if Mark is still unemployed in a couple of months and if Brody does not get into the school. It almost makes me not want to try because I hate this feeling; it feels like my heart is being crushed. But what can I do? I have to try because sometimes it does work out! Sometimes your plans and God's plans are the same ones.

If we spend our lives guarding our hearts so that we do not have to face disappointment, we are only letting ourselves down. We may be disappointed a few times, but think of how great it will feel when something does work out! I always enter giveaways on people's blogs or on Facebook pages. Sometimes I want to win so bad that I try and will it to happen (it never does). Do you know what happened this morning? I won a pair of fabulous heels from a giveaway! I really, really did and it felt great and surprising and wonderful. Imagine if I had not entered because I was tired of the disappointment, I wouldn't be waiting for a fabulous box at my doorstep!

So let's keep striving for the things that we hope for and not let the possibility of disappointment get in our way. Let's not guard our hearts anymore (but maybe be ready with a cup of tea and a hot bath if it doesn't work out). And lets remember that even if you do face disappointment, something better might be right around the corner. I am letting go of all the anxiety built up in my chest right now for Mark getting a job and Brody going to the charter school. I am letting my guard down and I am telling myself that it can all work out and if it doesn't, we will be okay too. God will provide for us no matter what.