Day 102 - My umbrella

I think I have reached a point in my faith that I can look over all of the cloudiness in our life and start to piece things together. Of course I do not have the whole picture, but I am starting to understand why some things (not all things) have happened the way that they have. I am starting to see the past few years as a set of dominos and how one thing had to happen to knock over the next few things. I think I can start to see why I had to lose my job, short sale our house, deal with criticism, let go of control, move to a much smaller place and be humbled enough to tell God I am giving it all to Him. My own personal suffering was necessary for the path I am on. I can't quite see why Mark had to lose his job too, but then again this blog was started from that event. My dominos are still going and the clouds are still hanging low, but there is a lot of sunshine and I am full of knowledge that I never had before.

How did I get to this place of sunshine, peace and knowledge? Why am I here when we are still in the middle of our storm; a storm that feels like it may never go away? A storm that has no predictable ending and is visually getting worse. It really is my faith.

What is faith?

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." -Hebrews 11:1

During our storm my faith has been our umbrella, encompassing my family and keeping us as safe and dry as it can. Every now and then a gusty wind pulls it out of my hands, but I always manage to grasp it and bring it back to us. Without it, we would be cold, wet and hopeless. It would just rain on us day after day with no reprieve and we would not be able to look out into the rain and see what is in front of us. Today especially, I am so thankful for that umbrella. I am so thankful for all of the joy in our life right now, joy that I would be missing if we were drenched from the rain.