Day 104 - Timing

Last night I went to the enrollment meeting for the school that I want to send Brody to next year. I mentioned yesterday that there will be a lottery to see who gets in. I have about a month until they do the lottery and I feel like I can't wait to find out. I want this so bad, not just for Brody, but as a school for all three of my kids to grow up at. Have you ever wanted something purely for the best interest of your kids? It's a totally different feeling. So here I am faced with the possibility that he won't get in and all of my feelings are tied up in the situation. I feel like my heart will be broken if it doesn't work out. We don't have the resources to buy things right now, so having the possibility of having something great with no strings attached is kind of amazing. My heart is invested in this.

On the way home I was asking God to please let this happen for us. I committed that I would pray for it every day until the lottery, as well as for his friend to get in. Then I started thinking about God's perfect timing, which I completely believe in. Sometimes our timing just isn't in God's plans and usually it is for the better. Perhaps, if Brody does not get in it means that this is not the year for him to start there, for whatever reason. I need to be okay on the waiting list. Or maybe there are 1000 other children that need to be there more than he does right now. I need to be okay with that possibility too. I need to have faith that it will work out for us when the time is right and I need to be okay with that in my heart.

I can think of many times that God's perfect timing came into play in our lives. I am pretty sure I already mentioned this, but when our lease was up at our last place we were not sure if we would move or not. We didn't love the place, but we also were hoping to give it another year. I looked over our finances and just felt like we needed to move at that time so we gave our notice and started looking. We didn't have much luck finding a place at first, but at the last minute we found the house we are in now. It was the best of what we could afford and for some reason they picked us over someone else. Less than two months later Mark lost his job and we were now in a place where we were paying $700 less a month for rent. If we would have tried moving after Mark was laid off, we would have never gotten our full deposit back and no one would have rented to us. Honestly, I don't know where we would be right now. Our home might be cozy right now, but it's a place for us to call home. It was God's perfect timing and that is why I thank Him for this place as often as I can. I may not love it but it is a blessing.

So here's the thing, God does have perfect timing. I have seen it so many times and I have heard some amazing stories that prove there is not such thing as a coincidence. If you are feeling discouraged, tired of waiting for something, or if you do not get something your heart is set on, have faith that it is a part of a much bigger picture. Have faith that it is better to be on God's time than your own. When I think of my life right now I find that I am 100% living on faith and on God's time and when I can take a deep breath and see that, then I can let go of the anxiety I carry. So while I will be praying daily for Brody to get into the new school, I will also recognize that if it does not happen now, that there is better timing for us down the road. It can be a painful lesson to learn, but it can alleviate so much sadness in your life and instead fill that void with understanding and hope.