Day 60 - More about my crying

If you read my really really really long blog post below, I am sure you will remember the part about my crying. I cried in church and then in the bathroom and then in front of the pastor and a good twenty other people who must have thought I was crazy. I find it pretty funny. Sometimes I feel like I could possibly be an articulate person, well until I start sobbing to a stranger and make him feel totally uncomfortable. In my mind I can picture myself walking up, explaining how thankful I am and possibly telling him about my blog and my plight for people to have faith; faith in God or just faith in themselves. But no, all I said was, "I have a blog...(insert crying), I'm trying to help people, (more crying)"..... and then pretty much silence (and more crying). He kind of said thank you and patted me on the back at that point. So I walked away (crying). My son then took it upon himself to ask, "Mom are you crying because no one reads your blog?" Okay so obviously nothing came across right.

Today I reflected on what it was that made me cry so much. The sermon was amazing, but where did the tears come from? It was what he ended the sermon with, "He is going to complete the work He started in you." If I only had seven days to live, if I give up something that I love, if I keep my faith, then there is a promise that He will finish what he started in me. That is exactly what it is, a promise and a reward. It was like I just needed some reassurance that if I had enough faith to give up something that I love, that I would not be abandoned and that I would still have a purpose in the end. I really don't know what the outcome of His work will be in me; I just can't see it yet. But I know I want one. I want a purpose. But with those simple words I can have enough faith that He knows better than I do what it is and how to get there. That is the same promise and faith I am living on with Mark's new business and our finances. I think my soul just needed to hear it and it did (and maybe there were some other emotions locked up in there too that came out when the waterworks started, thank goodness for sunglasses).

I hope that in your day-to-day life or maybe in a crisis, you can find some comfort in knowing that if you keep having faith and moving forward He will finish the work He started in you. You may feel like you are at a dead end or that you have nothing left to give, but that's not the case.

"... That He who has begun a good work in you will complete it..." Philippians 1:6