Day 65 - Not you

I think one of the things that has hit my heart over the last year is what I am going to call the It's Not About You Principle (I just totally made that up). I don't know what made me start feeling very strongly about it. I am assuming that somehow I either witnessed a situation or was directly affected by one, but either way I started on a path of trying to be better at it.

Sometimes we make things all about us, I think it's human nature. I certainly do it and can remember doing it in one or two situations where I definitely should not have and I regret them very much. So here are a few examples: something very bad happens to someone like a death or a tragedy and somehow you start using the word "I" in every sentence or you constantly Facebook about how sad YOU are, even though it is like your best friend's dad. Maybe you are sad, but right now you don't need to be making people feel sorry for you (because ultimately you know that's why you are doing it, for attention). Another example, you are in a store and the clerk is not as shiny and happy as you would like her to be, so you decide to be rude or loud and talk about it for the rest of the day. All the while she is going through a divorce and is just having a bad day, she wasn't intentionally being rude but instead of giving her a break, you made it about you. You have a standing appointment or group that is the same time every week, but it got changed to another night and you are really angry because it's not what you wanted (even though you can still make it), however what you don't know is that God was trying to place a new person into your life for a special reason and it had to be this way to make it work. I'm sure you get the picture, there are so many scenarios.

Like I said, I do these too so I am not claiming to be really great at this. But I am trying to be conscious about it. I find that when I have the It's Not About Me mentality, I am happier and nicer because I don't take things so personally and I see people as more human. I am also able to focus more on the person who deserves the attention instead and I can find ways to help them or be a better friend, which in turn makes me feel better about myself than the attention I would have been seeking elsewhere.

So this week I am encouraging you (and I will be practicing it too) to take a step back in certain situations and really see what is happening. It's funny what you see when you take your blinders off. Sometimes if I feel like I am being mistreated, I can actually see that it was never about me and that person is just hurting. Or if I cut someone some slack and just say, "hey they might be having a bad day," then I can go on with my day just as happily instead of being angry. It actually changes my outlook on everything. And if we start doing it, then maybe others will see it and start being kinder too. Sometimes God puts us in situations because we are necessary for someone else's growth and it actually isn't about us, we can't all be the star in every situation (and I really like to be the star).