Day 26 - Silence

Sometimes I think silence is the worst part about being in a financial crisis. Right now the silence is the having no control over Mark getting a job or our finances. We still have to go on living our life but everything is a big question mark. I can't plan anything. I don't have any idea what life will be like next week, in two months or a year from now. People ask me questions all the time and I have no answer for them. Can we go here? Depends if Mark has a job. Will you be able to do this? Depends on if Mark is working. The weirdest part is that for a control freak like me, I have gotten use to it. I just say, "I don't know" a lot. No matter how much faith I have I cannot escape the unknown. And, when your finances are unknown, it feels like everything else becomes unknown too. It's a weird spot to be in. I miss the stability, being able to plan out our days and decisions, marking our life up on my calendar. But, this is the way things are and I know I better be on board because I certainly can't fight it or pretend like things are any different. I miss our old life, but I am hinging on the promises the God has made us.

Proverbs 3:1-6

My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.