Day 31 - Speaking to me

I love it when a church sermon feels like it is directed towards me. Today's church was about facing reality with faith. What do you do when life is out of control and you cannot stop worrying? Here are my notes:

-When reality hits you either can have faith or you can worry.

-You have to face reality (the cause of your worry). It may be unexpected problems, overwhelming circumstances, inadequate resources and/or you feel alone (or all of the above).

-Then you have to choose faith. You cannot get rid of anxiety or worry unless you choose the alternative, which is faith.

-How do you choose faith? You have to ask God for help, question your fears, increase your faith and acknowledge that God is in control.

-Your faith grows more with every circumstance.

- You need to live one day at a time. We cannot control the uncontrollable.

I am at a really good place. I am not worrying about the bigger picture. I have faith that God will provide our basic needs so that we can pay rent, get groceries, etc. Even though we have no income except unemployment right now, God has already started to find ways to provide for us. It's amazing. God is amazing. People are amazing. I have never been this calm in a crisis and I have felt this way since Mark got that phone call to say he was being laid off. However, just two blog posts ago you could see that I have been worrying about all of the small stuff. Apparently I have faith in the big picture, but not the small details. This service made me realize that I need to do both and I can do that by asking God for help. He cares about the small stuff too.

I never cease to be amazed.

Day 30 - I rested

I am writing this blog exactly 1 hour before today is over. Do you want to know why? I was able to have some away time this weekend. We packed up the kids and spent 24 hours visiting my dear sister. It was perfect! We watched movies, hung out and just had fun. No emails, text messages, Facebook and no blogging. Even with my overwhelming to-do list, I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the week.

And, a great comment from my dad today helped me feel better. He said:

"We show our trust in God when we say to him, "Lord, I have so many things on my plate. They are impossible! I can't do them all today, so help me with what's important and what's not important. Help me not to worry about not getting the unimportant things done. Help me focus on what matters most. I need your strength today to do what I need to do today. I have financial, physical and emotional needs and I'm depending on you to help me today....God is going to teach you to trust him one day at a time. He's going to give you enough grace, power, and energy to get through today." And then from the famous verse from Matthew 6:34 TLB, "So don't be anxious about tomorow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." So, advise from your father, pray about what needs to be done today and ask God for help. Do the same tomorrow, and the day after and the day after. He will help you each day."

Make it a wonderful week!

Day 29 - Rest

My days have been busy. Everything feels like a struggle right now. I honestly do not have enough hours in the day to get everything done. I stay up until 1am, sometimes 3am trying to work, take care of family business, write my blogs, start a new business and spend some time with God. Did I also tell you I have 3 kids? Luckily this week I scheduled two play dates, so I was able to chat with friends. I'm right near that point when you know that a crying breakdown will probably happen, but you still have too much to do to heed the warning. I am exhausted. I feel like I spend every minute of every day doing something for someone. The hardest part is that so many of the things I need to do are still undone and I feel like I am failing. All these to-do's brings so much pressure. Pressure to start the new business, pressure to finish projects for my existing clients, to find health insurance, to pay bills, pressure to do simple things like laundry and keep the house clean. I still haven't sent out thank you notes for Christmas. I am overwhelmed just thinking about all of it.

I looked up some old sermon notes about being tired; here was something I wrote down:

Trust when you are tired.

"I have given up all hope and feel numb all over." Psalms 143:4

"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

It's a fine line that we walk when it comes to being busy and survival. There will always be those times when you have to get a second job or you have to put in more hours so that you can survive. That's why I understand that I need to stay up until 3 am sometimes. But there is also point where you need to accept rest for all of your hard work and understand that it cannot all be done right now. Some things will have to wait, even if it's just a day. I am treading that line right now, not sure what to do with it. But in the verse above it becomes apparent that I need to pray about all my burdens so that God can help find the time to give me rest.

So I am going to write myself a prescription for at least one night away for a few hours of girl time this week, a play date with a friend and a day of rest every Saturday (no work at all).

Update

I didn't get the job I had interviewed for.

I think I mentioned it before, but since Mark hasn't found anything I am going to put the wheels in motion to start our own business. Our path is taking an unexpected turn but I think I like where it's going. If we have struggled financially over the last few years, I know we can do it a little longer in hopes that we can have something of our own.

I will give you more details about everything soon, stay tuned.

Day 28 - I'm here

I have been talking about this a lot lately. Our problems financially are not comparable to other people's emotional and physical problems. In fact, I feel blessed that what we are going through is all monetary. My family is all healthy, together and happy. I have been hearing a lot of heartbreaking stories lately and that is why I always say prayers of gratitude. Although our path is scary, it's not life threatening and I have everything I want and need safe and sound in my little house. So today I am praying for those who are suffering emotionally and physically, whose journey is more rocky and unknown. And if you are reading this, I may not be able to relate but I am empathetic to what you are going through and I am praying for you. Our year of faith may be different but I hope I can still inspire you somehow.

Psalms 119:28

My soul is weary with sorrow;

strengthen me according to your word.

Day 27 - Forward

This is my dad's favorite bible verse, which means it is part of the foundation I was raised on:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

My dad truly believes in this verse and so do I. Maybe this belief is what keeps me going and keeps me optimistic. I hope that I can instill this verse in my children's' lives so when their road seems long and unforgiving, that they can keep moving forward knowing that the outcome will be their reward.

Thank you Dad, although the road I have been traveling has been particularly unyielding over the last few years, I can keep moving forward because I have the endurance and faith to finish my race.

Day 26 - Silence

Sometimes I think silence is the worst part about being in a financial crisis. Right now the silence is the having no control over Mark getting a job or our finances. We still have to go on living our life but everything is a big question mark. I can't plan anything. I don't have any idea what life will be like next week, in two months or a year from now. People ask me questions all the time and I have no answer for them. Can we go here? Depends if Mark has a job. Will you be able to do this? Depends on if Mark is working. The weirdest part is that for a control freak like me, I have gotten use to it. I just say, "I don't know" a lot. No matter how much faith I have I cannot escape the unknown. And, when your finances are unknown, it feels like everything else becomes unknown too. It's a weird spot to be in. I miss the stability, being able to plan out our days and decisions, marking our life up on my calendar. But, this is the way things are and I know I better be on board because I certainly can't fight it or pretend like things are any different. I miss our old life, but I am hinging on the promises the God has made us.

Proverbs 3:1-6

My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Day 25 - 53 days

It has been 53 days since Mark was laid off. We were positive that he would have a job by now. Mark has done everything in his power to find something from Day 1. But still nothing.

Today I was out for a walk with the kids. It was gorgeous out and I felt overwhelmingly happy. I have felt like that a lot lately. Sure, I have some down days when I really worry about our situation, but those days are few. Those days are usually when I obsess about our checking account and paying the bills. Those times are when I lose faith that He can provide for us. Most days though I have a lot of peace. Peace that things will work out. Peace because I know that this is just a moment in our time and a page from our book. Peace that it is all happening for a reason. That we don't have bad luck, but instead this is the way things have to happen for our blessings. I have seen and heard about it a million times before and I know it can be the same for us.

We are not going to wait for something to come to us; we are going to make things happen. Mark is going to do some stuff on the side and we are thinking of starting our own venture. Of course we are still hoping that something great will come along so we can have a steady paycheck and insurance, but maybe that's not what is suppose to happen right now. We are definitely in a position to do something on our own, and we never would have put ourselves here. I think God has much bigger plans and He needed us to be in a situation where we didn't have the distractions and where we needed to be at our lowest to build ourselves up. It seems so obvious to me.

I don't know for sure what's going to happen next. Maybe a job will come along tomorrow, maybe not. All I know is that I have been blessed with a lot of work for my business, more than normal. Mark has also had a lot of people tell him they would support him if he went out on his own. So we are going to start paving the way and see what happens.

Faith is what makes the days happy. Faith is what makes you see the sunshine. Faith is what makes you move forward. Faith is what makes you see the bright side. Faith is stillness and no worries. Faith is knowing that things are in motion. Faith is being positive. Faith is peace in your heart.

I am feeling extra faithful right now. Sometimes that makes the down days even harder for me, but the good days are always good.

(For me the feeling of faith has grown from each circumstance and incident on my path. My faith is still in the understanding stages. It has been learned over time. It's okay if you don't feel it yet, just keep searching and trusting. Faith comes with growing pains. You will get there.)

Day 24- Listen

Recently I had a situation happen where all kinds of drama was created over an aspect of my business. It became a huge to-do with all kinds of people involved. Things were said about my business and my talents that I didn't like. It flowed through Facebook and onto my work website. It made its way through many people, text messages, phone calls and emails.

But, little of this was done by me.

You see, when it started God plainly and clearly told me to be quiet. I'm not kidding. He almost literally whispered in my ear as soon as I found out what was going on to "be quiet" and to calm down and not to start a war. It was very clear that I was to let the other side go-at-it themselves.

I did my best to keep quiet. I kept my comments off of Facebook and I made my husband delete his. I kept my phone calls to a minimum only making a few so that I could vent to a friend. I replied to a few emails trying to respond with love. Other than that I just kind of stopped and let the whirlwind happen on the other side. And it did. My life kept going on instead of declaring a war.

I am not telling you this because I think I did the right thing and so in return you will think I am a good example of being calm in crisis. I am telling you because it was completely God and not me. All I did was listen and obey. As I am growing in my faith I am learning to listen more and to understand cues from God. It is definitely something learned over time. Like I said, if it wouldn't have been so clear I would have reacted in a completely different way.

And do you know what? God did not steer me wrong. In so many ways He blessed me in this situation. I still hear things from time-to-time and I never get that feeling that I would have had on my own. Yes, I still need to vent to a friend (and thank you to that friend) but it really isn't a part of my life or business at all.

So here is what I am trying to say, even if you are not a believer, God will give you cues in certain situations. Maybe it will be the feeling in the pit of your stomach or a whisper in your ear. Maybe it will be the overwhelming feeling of right over wrong or just a distinct dream at night. Listen to it and see what happens. I am trying to learn to distinguish these feelings between cues from God versus my own doubts and fears. It's hard. But I can feel in my heart that feeling when He told me to be quiet and I try and measure it against that.

Today in church one small snippet of a bible verse caught my heart:

"In quietness and confidence is your strength." from Isaiah 30:15

I think I am going to keep this snippet somewhere where I can see it, as a reminder of what God taught me, but more importantly of what I learned by listening. That situation really built my faith and was a catalyst for starting this blog, knowing that there is a lesson and a blessing in every situation.

Day 23 - Lesson learned

Today before church started I overheard another man tell a family about some of his struggles. He had a lot of them and at the end he mentioned that on top of everything he had just been laid off. We were on the shuttle and when we got off I had my blog business card in hand. I really wanted him to know about this blog, in hopes that it could give him some hope or someone to relate to. It was obvious he doesn't have any friends and family here. I tried to catch up to him while pulling my kids behind me. When I caught up he started another conversation with the family again, I didn't really like what he was saying so I put my business card back in my pocket and let him walk into church as I followed that family to the Sunday School area. I told myself maybe I would see him again. I did look for him. I never saw him.

I don't like to be pushy. I also don't like to bother people too much. But, today I am thinking that if I would have been a little more pushy to get into the conversation, if I wouldn't have cared what he had said or if I had bothered him a little more as he entered church than this story could be different. I wasn't selling him something, I wasn't asking him for anything, I just wanted to give him a little hope. Why didn't I step out of my comfort zone?

I do this stuff all the time. I say I have faith in myself, but I don't have enough faith to reach out to a stranger. I am good at donating money online, giving our things away or helping people I know. I need to be good at stretching my faith. I am hoping that next time I have a story like this to share, I will have a much happier ending.

Day 22 - Faith & etsy

I typed in 'faith' on etsy.com to see what kind of pretty things would come up. These were some of my favorites. I think it's nice to have objects around you to remind you to have faith, especially in quiet little moments of your day. Faith isn't just a religious word; faith is a word that can reach across all boundaries. You can have faith in people, yourself, love, or the heart. I would love to have any of these as reminders to keep having faith and to keep moving forward!

Day 21 - Keeping it simple

Whatever it is that you are facing right now, anything, just don't give up.

"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don't know why things happen as they do, but we don't give up and quit."

2 Corinthians 4:8

Update

Hi friends! The interview was awesome and it gave me a renewed sense of faith in myself and my abilities. It actually lit a bit of a fire in me. I know that they have a lot of really qualified candidates so I am just going to take this a step at a time and see where it goes. But, I am amazed that God put an opportunity like this in front of me, if I am going to go back to work this is the exact job that I would want. Really. After the interview all of my worries and fears disappeared because I know that if it is meant to be, everything else will fall into place.

So thank you God for pushing me. I needed it.

Day 20- Praying about cheese

I just have to share that I am really bad at praying. I try hard, I really do. I start off well thanking God for all of our blessings and then I start to pray for specific people and things, but as I do my mind always takes a right turn and I am suddenly daydreaming about something totally random. And, then I daydream for so long that I either fall asleep or get totally sidetracked and forget what exactly I was praying about in the first place. I actually laugh at how hard it is for me. So lately I have been trying to pray small prayers at a time. I have also kept a prayer journal for a little over a year. The prayer journal allows me to write down everything and everyone I want to pray for without distraction and I do this once a week. I have also started doing one prayer every few days that I only thank God for all of our blessings, even if I have other things to pray about at that moment. I just want to make sure I remember to tell him how thankful I am (before I fall asleep)!

Sometimes we give up when we realize we are not very good at something. Or we just keep doing it badly over and over because we don't know what else to do. But that's not good enough; we need to change what we are doing to make it work. In my case I know that being good at prayer is not going to happen overnight so I am going to make small changes that will help me be better at it. It has taken me 30 years to realize I need to try harder to be good at it! The power of prayer is very important and I don't want to forget to pray for you because I was daydreaming about buying a block of cheese at the store!

I actually started working on my prayer issue in 2009 when I read Refuel: An Uncomplicated Guide to Connecting with God by Doug Fields. It's a super easy, short read about how to spend time with God. That got me started. Like I have said before, I am a work in progress. If you are starting in your faith, have trouble remembering to pray or just get distracted like I do, I highly recommend a prayer journal. You can write in it daily or weekly and it will help focus your thoughts. We are all great at praying for something we need right away or when we are in crisis, but daily prayer really keeps you connected to God and humble to the needs of others.

Wishing you a wonderful day today!

Day 19 - Don't push me

It's amazing how complicated things can get. As of today, I have a phone interview later this week. I was happy focusing on Mark getting a job or just talking about me maybe going back to work. But a phone interview is kind of a step forward, I can't just talk about it now, I have to go into action. Not only that, I have to think about what we will need to do in case I do get a job. That is a lot to think about and brings up a lot of emotions for me.

God, why are you pushing me right now? That's what it feels like. Of course I want to do what's best for my family but making the commitment to go back to work is a big deal. I have kids and a business to think about. I have been pushed to make a lot of big changes I didn't want to over the last few years and I did them all. This too?

Did you know I use to be a working mom? I loved it. I loved my job. I said I would never be a stay-at-home mom. My son was happy and thriving because we made it work. But then I was "pushed" to be a stay-at-home mom when I was laid off and I entered a whole new world that was very uncomfortable to me. I didn't like being pushed into it at all. I wanted my old life and job back.

Fast forward almost exactly 2.5 years later...I love my life as a stay-at-home mom. I love owning my own business. I don't want to be pushed again.

I remember a church sermon and part of it was on the story of Elijah and how God sent him to hide in a ravine from King Ahab. God told Elijah to drink water from the brook and he would send ravens to feed him. Can you imagine how lonely you would become hiding in a ravine for a long period of time? No one to talk to, no comforts. In the sermon it said that even though he was following God's command, Elijah became use to the ravine (too use to it), so God dried up the last bit of water from the brook (there was a drought going on) and sent Elijah to go to a city where people worshipped an idol and to look for a poor widow who would feed him. This little snippet doesn't do the actual story justice, but the point of the sermon was that even when God has put us in uncomfortable territory, if we get too comfortable, he will move us again. It's part of the journey. We cannot get too comfortable if we are going to grow. In the few notes I took it says that Elijah was obedient and God's promises hinge on your obedience. I also wrote down that where God guides, God also provides, so we must go.

So here I am at a crossroad. I may not like where I potentially may be going, but I need to let it happen. I am going to knock that interview out of the park and see what happens. I am putting it all in God's hands, knowing that whatever happens will serve a larger purpose. Whether I go back to work or stay at home, that is where I need to be right now.

This isn't easy for me at all.

Day 18 - It's definitely a wild ride

Somedays are just better than others, right? Yesterday was a gloomy day for all of us, it was beautiful outside but we were all a little crabby and none of us had our usual spark. I think that things just caught up with us. It was Monday and that meant we went another week with no job and nothing in the pipeline. I know that Mark is antsy to go back to work and I want him to be happy. The weeks are going by faster and faster. I'm not sure why the kids were crabby, we really try our best to not let our current situation affect them, but I'm sure they pick up on things. I think that stress and emotions just catch up with you after awhile and your body responds. Mark has been feeling sluggish, I have had body pains and extreme tiredness.

Right now it feels like life is like a roller coaster, but maybe a kiddie one. We cruise through our every day life happy and busy and occasionally something really great happens and we go up the little hump, then we hit some curves and turns that freak us out a little bit and then we have to travel down the hump, which still makes you feel a little queasy even if it's just a kiddie ride. We know we will get through it, it's not a life or death situation, and we smile and laugh on the fun parts! Somedays are just the queasy parts... and that was yesterday.

I hate that I have no control over such a big part of our life right now. I am a control freak! But, I have learned that I have to let things go. That I am not in charge. That I should keep trying to do whatever I need to fix the situation but that I cannot fix it myself. I need to leave God in control.

Here's to hoping that this week will bring something great and that our roller coaster ride will be wild and fun, with few curves and as little nausea as possible.

Day 17 - Inspiration

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I googled his name and the word faith. After all, he must have had amazing faith in his fight for equality. I found a personal quote and a section from his 'I Have a Dream' speech.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

"With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

I think it's important to let people inspire us on our own faith journey. It helps us believe that we too can accomplish our dreams or on certain days it just helps us get out of bed. We can be inspired by people in history or the kindness of the man at the grocery store. Inspiration is what makes me dream a little bigger every day and believe that God can bless me in big ways too.

Blog Fix

I had no idea that many people could not leave comments on this blog, but I fixed it! So feel free to comment away.

Day 16 - Fear

I have been a Christian my whole life. I have been going to the same church for more than half of my life. I falter, I fail and I surrender because I am human. I also have a lot of fear. I find it weird that my blog about faith produces a lot of fear in my life. I have fears of failing, having my personal life out there, not saying the right things, and so on and so on. It makes me uncomfortable and literally afraid, which I also find completely crazy at the same time because it's a blog about faith. A blog about having faith that God can make miracles happen in my life. But I am no stranger to fear and I know that this is just pushing me past my comfort zone right now, which I need. I am strong enough to know not to stop and to keep on going down this journey that I started. I only have four bible verses posted on my computer and as I was writing this I glanced down at one of them:

"Even when I'm afraid, I keep on trusting you." Psalms 56:3

Do you know that I don't remember writing this one down? But here it is, plain and clear for me to see. Even if you are afraid right now, don't lose your trust either.

Day 15 - Quick thought

Sometimes faith is just trusting that the disappointment that you feel right now will actually turn into something beautiful in the future.

Day 14- Jamie's Story

Facebook is a pretty amazing thing. I have reconnected with some wonderful people that are now a part of my every day life, near and far. People whom I never would have had a chance to reunite with, but I did and all with a Friend Request. One of them is Jamie Shepherd and I feel very fortunate that she is sharing some of her story of faith with us. I get to hear parts of her ongoing story all the time and I am always inspired.

...................................................................................................................................................

Some of My Story...

I used to be a pretty big believer in accomplishments. I was raised in a town where everybody seemed to have more than us. By the time I graduated College I had become very fond of the idea of independence, success and climbing the corporate ladder to get there. So you can imagine my dismay when I ended up in Maui selling souvenirs to tourists minus one corporate ladder. Oh the things you do for love! Hawaii isn’t an easy to place to make a living. But I had committed to this adventure and was determined to make it work.

What I appreciate most about my God, other than salvation, is that he knows my heart. While I was grumbling about my situation the Lord was preparing me for the journey of a lifetime, and I’m sure laughing at me a little along the way. What I didn’t mention is that the souvenirs that I was selling to tourists were local handmade jewelry. Jewelry that I would eventually learn to make myself but with my own twist. I ended up spending several years with that company and without realizing it I left equipped to run my own. I went on to work as an assistant to a fashion designer. And while I thought the job with the fashion designer was my answered prayer it was really just another stepping stone. It’s interesting for me to look back and play connect the dots with my life. God was now using that designer to teach me a little bit about fashion, just as he used my boss before to teach me a little bit about business. Can you see where this is going? Pretty soon I started making my own jewelry and selling it while I was at work right off of my neck.

When my jewelry invoices to my boss became larger than my paychecks I realized that it was time to regroup. While at bible study one day I said a prayer asking the Lord to deliver a particular bible verse to me to confirm that I was headed in the right direction. I just about fell out of my chair when he did just that all of thirty seconds later. So I went home and sat down with my incredible husband to do the math of what it would take to start a company. And then we prayed over that impossible number. A few hours later I got a phone call from my boss informing me that she would have to cut back on my hours. I remember thinking, “Are you kidding me?” I felt like Peter when Jesus was instructing him to get out of the boat. I could hear him loud and clear but how exactly did he expect me to move forward? But of course he had a plan for that too. Later that night we went out to dinner with some friends who informed us that the Lord had put on their hearts in invest in us. And so I heard it again but this time a little more stern, “GET OUT OF THE BOAT!”

I won’t lie, it took a few days for me to say yes, but eventually I did. After much prayer and a little fasting we signed a lease for an extremely over priced teeny tiny kiosk filled with my designs. I was so nervous that first day. But by the afternoon when my new landlord came by to check on me I had a line of women on both sides of me.

I’ve moved that location several times until I found a home at The Grand Wailea, which is a whole other story of faith. I’ve been in business for three years now. The company is called Sophie Grace Maui, named after our daughter. And then just a few months ago somebody else invested in me, my Mom. So now she and I have a flagship store in Paia, Maui as well. I still think that it’s silly that people are buying my things. But I’m thankful.

I promise that walking on water is the hardest thing that you will ever do. I cry often, but it keeps me on my knees close to the Lord. I have to constantly remind myself to not look down. The thing with faith is that the journey of it never ends. Just because you have learned to have it today doesn’t mean that you won’t have to learn to have it again tomorrow. I hope that through it all my daughter learns something about family, hope, faith and keeping your eyes on Jesus. And maybe a little about business too.

God Paid attention to the part of me that needed success to feel whole and through that he changed it. My priorities and purpose have shifted and that’s the biggest blessing of all. I’ve learned that as long as I make business choices based on family priorities then I’m where I should be. The best piece of advice that I can give someone looking to live on faith is to pay attention to what’s in front of you. God’s plan probably involves just that.

Jamie Shepherd

Joy in my heart

Here's what I realized today: if Mark would have never lost his job, I probably wouldn't have started this blog. If I would never have started this blog I wouldn't have been in contact with some old friends. I also wouldn't have met some new ones. I might not have realized that we are so loved and that we have an entire army behind us fighting for Mark to find a something. We have people reaching out to their own friends to look for job openings, sending us any leads they can think of, telling us their story to give us comfort and so much more. Do you know how it feels to have an army behind us- amazing! Today I realized that God has strategically put people in our lives, through all of our trials over the last few years. Really, deeply special people. I already had a group of wonderful, amazing friends in my life, how did I get lucky enough to deserve even more?

Today a new and dear friend left me an envelope with $50 in it and a note saying that she has been there, she knows how it feels and she wishes she could do more. I haven't spoken to her in a few weeks and she knew nothing of this blog. I was blown over with shock because it was so unexpected and meaningful. I know this friend has had similar rough times and yet sacrificed her own needs for me. I had always been the one trying to give as much as I could to other people. I never use to let anyone give anything in return. But my friends have taught me to accept things. It's weird to be on the receiving end, but it's humbling at the same time. I can't wait to be in a position where I can give back again. I will do so with a humble heart for the rest of my life.

I have so much love in my heart right now and I feel so blessed. I feel like I just hit the lottery because I have so many special people in my life, sending emails and cheering us on. I honestly feel nothing but joy. A friend sent me a Facebook message and said he wish he could do more to find Mark a job, I told him that his CARING was more than I could ever ask for. The time he took to send me a message was more than I would ever expect.

So thank you friends. You have put a lot of love in my heart and when I look back at this time, I will realize that God blessed us with friendships in abundance. There really are blessings in hard times, you just have to open your eyes to see them. Don't miss them because they are there somewhere and they are miracles in their own way.

Day 13- How I deal with stress

God, did you hear me? I said I have faith! Why aren't you answering my prayers? In fact, I feel like it is quite the opposite, everything is at a standstill right now. Mark hasn't found any new opportunities, recruiters are not calling and things seem less eventful than they were before.

I am so anxious and I am noticing that I am eating all my stress. Isn't it funny how we find some way to deal with the stress? Sure we might not drink or do drugs, but we can act like an addict in our stress-induced stage. At first it wasn't a big deal, but then after a few days I fully recognized that I am bingeing all day long. I use to shop to try and cope, but money doesn't permit that anymore. So now I eat to deal with the stress, which isn't helping at all. I feel sluggish, bad about the way I look and I feel guilty. Obviously I need to be more aware every time I put something in my mouth. I need to take those opportunities to pray about all the stress I am feeling. I just need to stop and take a deep breath. I use food, what do you use? What gives you that instant gratification when you are surrounded by stress? Is it food, gossip, anger, shopping, alcohol, pills, obsessive behavior? Instead of feeling shameful and guilty, it's better to just admit it and try to get better! Don't hide out in your guilt. I feel extremely guilty right now, but it is a new day and I am ready to tackle my stress in a healthy and conscious way.

I just went through old sermon notes searching for some inspiration on this topic. I came across two separate points from two different dates:

- Trust when you are anxious.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6-7 (Msg)

- Be Patient & Persistent

"These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" Hab. 2:3 (LB)

I think we just need to remember that even if we feel stressed, anxious, guilty, etc., that we do not need to try and make ourselves feel better in unhealthy ways. We need to tackle the situation head on and have enough faith in ourselves to deal with the stress in a better way. I am starting that right now. Otherwise, things will get out of control and don't you already have enough on your plate? I know I do!

God-Incidences

I received a Facebook message from my old pastor from when I was like 7 years old! Well Pastor Scott Presse read my blog, my father had sent him the link. It was right after I posted about all of the blessings that God has bestowed upon my family in the form of free pizzas and such. I loved his comment enough that I wanted to share it:

"God-incidences" are all around and constantly coming into our lives. Faithful eyes see them as God at work daily in all the little things of life vs. coincidences which are the random collision of events and people."

I love "God-incidences," it may be a little hard to say, but it's exactly right! Thank you Pastor Presse for the comment and for your wisdom.

Day 12- A Woman of Faith

Today is my mom's birthday. I am lucky to have a strong woman of faith to look up to. Growing up she was very strict and always had high expectations of me. She was never afraid to tell me no or make me do something I didn't want to do. I always grew up knowing the difference between right and wrong and was expected to make the right decisions according to our faith. Now that I am a mom, I know that all of those things equal love and were the building blocks for my strong foundation. I watched my mom give generously to those less fortunate and she taught me that God will often provide for others through you. She has done these acts of generosity on more occasions than I can count and usually anonymously. Still to this day my mom will tell me when I am wrong, will support me and my family in any way that she can and will make us laugh until it hurts. Her faith built my faith. Her values built my values. Her strength built my strength. I know how lucky I am.

Do you have a strong woman or man of faith in your life? Do you have someone to go to when you need advice for a problem or need support when things seem impossible? You need that person in your life because you cannot do it alone. You need someone to pray for you constantly and to cheer for you when you succeed. If you don't it's time to find someone like that and you can! I will pray about it with you, just let me know.

Thank you Mom for all of the life lessons and all of the love you surround us with. Happy Birthday!

Day 11 - Blessings

One of my favorite things I say is that we have an extra savings account with God. I am always saying "God must have withdrawn from your account" when friends get surprise checks. Whenever you need it the most an extra check shows up in the mail from an old insurance policy you paid too much for. Or you get a refund for $27.95 from a bill that you apparently overpaid. They are always at the perfect time. Sometimes its the generosity of a stranger or a friend. This month God had been withdrawing from our account:

1. My parents offered to pay for our $50 Costco renewal and so we were able to use a $50 gift certificate that we had forgotten about to buy groceries this week. And, as I am writing this I just realized we have another $20 gift card that we had forgotten about for next week's groceries. Cha-ching!

2. We moved mid October but we JUST got a moving packet that we have never received before that has free money to food places nearby. So far we had an entire BBQ dinner and we still have a free pizza, $15 to Pick Up Stix and $20 off at Beachfire...no strings or minimums attached.

3. Mark's sister and mom took the two oldest kids out for the day so we went to a quiet lunch with the baby. We ran into our friend's parents there. Well after they left and when we went to pay for our bill, they had already paid for us.

4. I found $20 in my pocket. I never carry cash.

5. The nice man at Albertsons must have thought I was nice too because he gave me the "Earn Cookware" stamps for the two customers in front of me who didn't want theirs. And so I was able to actually earn cookware.

6. Last night I got an email with $11 in free money from my Toys R Us/Babies R Us Rewards Card. I also had a Merchandise Credit that we had not used. Today I was able to get a huge box of wipes, a birthday gift and a free toy because I bought a certain brand. I didn't pay a cent.

I could go on and on from all the little withdrawals we have had over the last two and half years and always when we needed them the most. There have even been a few times where we got a check with $100 or more. It's my faith that reassures me that these are no coincidence. But it is also my appreciation that sees how special they are. Before I was laid off we were able to buy whatever we wanted, do whatever we wanted and we rarely worried about anything financially. I was probably really excited about the free pizza or extra check but I doubt I saw them as a true blessing. I really do "count my blessings" now.

So today I am thankful for all the blessings that are raining down on me, no matter how small. They may not pay my car payment, but they help feed us, make my kids smile and make me smile! Amazing right! Did I mention that God never depletes your bank account? It's always full and ready for a withdrawal. Sometimes you just need to ask for it.

(I just noticed I was off on my days....it's only been 11 days so I'm not sure how I did that but it's fixed!)

Day 10 - Things I learned

I took notes at church today like a wild woman. It's so fulfilling to know that I am not only taking notes for myself but for all my readers as well. Here are a few things I wanted to mention from today:

-You have not trusted God unless you have put faith in some situation that is impossible in the flesh. It needs to be a faith-based need so big that you are forced to depend on Him.

-Having goals stretches your faith, you need to set personal goals. You need to set goals because it is a spiritual discipline, it focuses your energy, it stretches your faith, it builds your character and it gives you hope. And almost always, when you have faith based goals, they get done sooner than you planned.

-This one is for me because when you put yourself out there, you will get criticism. Even if I don't hear it myself I hate that I know it happens behind my back all the time. But that's just a part of life and I have gotten use to it. It was said today that some of the worst groups of people are those that sit back and never do anything and yet criticize those who are at least trying. Don't be that person- it's more common than you think.

-"Without faith it is impossible to please God..." Heb 11:6

It's Monday and if you read my post yesterday you know that I am hoping for a miracle this week. We need Mark to get a job quickly. I have faith!

Day 9 - More to my story

I have already shared a lot with you, but it's not the whole story. I have many other parts of my life that I want to share, but this part really exemplifies my faith and some of why this blog was created. I said that 2010 wasn't our best year, it wasn't even in the running. I don't remember it starting particularly great but I know it didn't end well. Well to be fair, the holidays were perfect because nothing is better than being with family and friends and getting to play Santa. But, on December 3rd my husband got laid off from his job. Remember I mentioned we were on one income since I never went back to work after being laid off? Well now we are on none. Not a particularly fun way to end the year.

I don't know who thinks it's a good idea to lay someone off in the month of December. I'm sure it's good for some kind of fiscal budget, but it is certainly not good for the person being laid off. I remember someone told me it's probably better than being laid off at the first of the year because you go spending all your money on Christmas presents and then realize you can't pay them off. But I would have to say that no, the first of the year would be much better. At least you have a fighting chance of getting a job during your severance period; no one is hiring during the holidays. My husband worked his butt off and managed to get two interviews before Christmas. That alone was a miracle in itself and even those jobs are in no hurry to make a decision. It sucks. I can't think of any better words to describe it.

But, here's the thing. The week before Mark got laid off I was literally crying and praying to God to please help us. Mark had a great job and was providing for us, but we were still in a hole financially. We can't seem to catch up from me losing my job. We have had to sell our house, move to a rental and move again. It hasn't been easy. We just want to feel like we are doing more than surviving. I know that most of you know exactly how I feel. So when Mark got the call and literally hand gestured to me that he was being laid off, at that second, the only thing I could say to myself was, "I asked for this." No really, I have been asking for this for a long time. Sure not before Christmas and I was hoping a job would miraculously appear while he had a job, but I had been begging God to please help us out. And this was an answer to my prayers. So I didn't worry. I was in shock but I knew that everything would be okay. God was going to provide for us and Mark was going to get a better job that would pay us more and we could maybe have a fighting chance at reclaiming our finances back.

But our story isn't over, in fact you will get to see what happens. As of now it has been more than a month, there is no job and severance is basically done. There have been two interviews and no concrete leads have come since then. My hubby has been hard at work looking for a job, he is a rock star with a great resume. I have not panicked or faltered since December 3rd because this is what I asked for, but I'm not going to lie, on Friday I started to panic. I can't help it, I have three children and bills to pay. I am human and I am scared. It's not shameful to admit you are scared.

All of this was in my mind when I started this blog. The only thing I can go by is faith right now. I can't make someone give my husband a job. All I can do is keep reminding myself that I prayed for help and this is the path to my prayer. This is great faith. This circumstance will take more faith than I have had to give so far, or maybe it just feels like that right now. After all, in the past few years God has provided us with exactly what we needed, sometimes in the last hour. He has always come through. So when I feel like crying, I will let a few tears come out, but then I will buck up and trust that this will work out. And, I will keep you in step along the way. Remember, this is our journey of faith... we are doing it together.

Please pray for us!

(And yes we did go to Disneyland, but it was our Christmas gift from my parents. I feel the need to mention that because I know someone had to have thought that it was inappropriate to spend money like that when you have none. Although as I write this, I am deciding that I probably will not have disclaimers like this in future posts, you are just going to have to trust me. Remember, FAITH).

Day 8 - Belief and Faith

Obviously belief and faith go hand-in-hand. I am writing this post as we are driving to Disneyland. We are not passholders so this is a big deal for our family. Disneyland is a magical place where kids can spend the day believing that all their favorite cartoon characters are real. I cannot wait to see the wonderment in all three of my childrens' eyes. Those moments makes being a parent the greatest gift possible. I imagine that's how God feels as he watches us strengthen in our faith. As we start to understand all the things people have told us about their faith. And then we too start to believe.

Day 7 - Thoughts and Thank Yous

Thank you for all of your loving comments, Facebook messages and emails about this blog. I have no words to explain how much they mean to me. Like I said, it may be My Year of Faith, but it is not just about me. I am purely a vessel on this journey. And that's what it will be, a journey through a year. Hopefully we can do it together.

I haven't even begun to share with you all the things going on in my life, but how can I post after an amazing story like Deidra's yesterday? I have read it over and over again, not only because of the content, but because when you read it you see Deidra's amazing faith in her words. I am sure she has been through every emotion- things I could not possibly begin to understand. She still has faith that it all happened for a purpose, that God has a plan and that God put the wheels in motion to save her life. I'm not sure that all people can do that. She is an inspiration.

So for today I want to just focus on a bible verse that I believe goes along with Deidra's story and the promises that God gives us. I had to look no further than a piece of paper stuck on my computer.

Isaiah 43:2 (New Living Translation)
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.

I have so much in my heart to write about and share. My husband thinks I'm crazy writing every day for a year, but I know I can do it. I may write every post like ten times over before I share it, but all the hard work will be worth it. Plus, I've been called crazy more than once before, I think it's a compliment!

Day 6 - Amazing story of faith

Even though this blog is called "My Year of Faith," it's not all about me. Read this amazing story of faith as told by Deidra Ramirez....you will never forget this story.

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Deidra's Story

I am loving Amanda's blog already and was more than happy to share one of my experiences, specifically one that restored my faith in God and people in general.

I have so many things that I could share, but we'd end up with a novel. People always get chills when I explain how greatly God has impacted our lives over the past 3 1/2 years, but I wanted to share something I could make brief...sort of. Let me give you some background to start. A little over 3 years ago I was involved in a near fatal motor vehicle accident that in all honesty, I shouldn't have survived. Looking back, despite my injuries, the best way to explain my survival was that I was in God's Little Bubble and He got me exactly where I needed to be in order to survive. My vehicle flipped 374 yards (yes over 3.5 football fields in distance), across the eastbound freeway and crossed the median, and across the westbound traffic to put me in the path of the one gentleman who would do everything in his power to help me live.

When my car stopped flipping, I was surrounded by many look-i-loos, but not a single person moved to help the unconscious bleeding woman (me) escape a vehicle which was now on fire. Well, almost no one that is.

Headed home from the gym, a man, who turned out to be an off duty police officer, saw my left hand hanging out of the driver's side window and pulled over. He was married too and when he saw my ring, he immediately knew that he needed to do what he hoped someone would do if it were his wife instead. He grabbed a gentleman & after some difficulty in getting me dislodged, proceeded to get me free. 30 sec after he got me out, the entire car became engulfed in flames. Just 30 sec.

He tended to my massive injuries as best he could, applying pressure until the ambulance arrived, but shortly after they arrived, they lost me. With everything being burned to smitherines, any link to my identity was gone. I was a Jane Doe to my hero and the emergency personnel. After the ambulance arrived, my guardian angel left. He didn't leave a general statement so he too became a John Doe hero. My accident happened on a Friday. For 2 days, my hero was beside himself with the things he had seen and experienced. How after everything he had done, could I not have made it? It became a personal struggle. His wife suggested that maybe God could help, and he agreed. They decided to attend a church near their home, one they had never been to before.

As he sat through the service he didn't feel any better about everything. He wondered about the woman he had saved. Did she have children? How was her husband handling the news? He felt like he knew he hadn't risked his life in vain and prayed for some sign to show him that there was a reason he stopped that fateful day.

At the end of the service, he was feeling more frustrated than ever but then God answered! The pastor began a prayer list. On it, he asked everyone to pray for a woman who had suffered a rollover accident just days before on the highway. It was then that my hero's wife grabbed him and said, "I think it's her...the girl you saved!" The pastor went on to describe that I was alive, but fighting to stay that way in the trauma hospital.

After the service my hero approached the pastor full of excitement and curiosity. This wasn't my church, and it wasn't my hero's church either. Turns out the person who put me on the prayer list had never met me, but was a woman who worked for the same company as my husband , but at a different location and had heard the story. The pastor was able to track her down and put my hero in touch with her. He was finally able to learn my name. He gave his phone number to the woman who passed it on to my husband. My husband connected with him immediately, thanked him and shared what had happened since he saved me. He said that he was not supposed to be on that road that day. He said he was supposed to have a schedule change but due to a strange clerical error it was delayed. My husband explained that all the pieces fit...that it was SUPPOSED to happen. His scheduling error NEEDED to happen so he would be off. My car NEEDED to cross the freeway for him to help. He was SUPPOSED to be in that church on that particular day. His response (shared with me later) will forever stick with me. He may have been off duty from work, but no one should ever be off duty from being a good person and doing the right thing. In a random occurence of chance, God literally reunited me with my hero and restored my faith in the kindness of mankind.

Hi there!

Welcome to my bog! I actually started posting entries before this blog was ready to share. The best way to read it is to start from the beginning....it makes more sense that way. You are only a few days behind.

 

Day 5 - It sounds exhausting to be a skeptic

Today I googled the word "faith". The first few entries were about the definition. One site I found interesting is The Skeptic's Dictionary. This site basically has entries on topics that are controversial. Here is the definition of "faith" on The Skeptic's Dictionary:

"Faith is a non-rational belief in some proposition. A non-rational belief is one that is contrary to the sum of the evidence for that belief. A belief is contrary to the sum of the evidence if there is overwhelming evidence against the belief, e.g., that the earth is flat, hollow, or is the center of the universe. A belief is also contrary to the sum of the evidence if the evidence seems equal both for and against the belief, yet one commits to one of the two or more equally supported propositions."

I have to tell you, reading that and deciphering what it was saying took more brain power than I wanted to exude. It's actually a pretty long entry if you want to read it here. I think it's harder to believe in nothing than to believe in something. It sounds exhausting to be a skeptic of faith.

Day 4 - Thanks for listening!

Dear God,

I guess you read my blog post yesterday, didn't you? Thank you for the email that came shortly after I wrote it, with a job opportunity that I could submit my resume for. I have been looking for a job for 2.5 years and this is the first opportunity that I literally fit every single requirement. The person who sent it to me said it was like it was written for me. I admitted my feelings of inadequacy to you and you let me know that I am still valuable and I still have a lot of talents to contribute. And, even though we could really use such a great opportunity right now, whether or not the job pans out isn't what is important. It's that you listened to me pour out my heart and you gave me some confidence so that I can have faith in myself. You never stop amazing me.

Thank you,

Day 3- Doubtful, lost, empty and desperate

I constantly doubt my abilities and myself. I question if I will ever do anything good enough (in my own eyes). After being laid off in 2008 we lost half of our income. I liked contributing in such a large way to our life. I still feel like I am nowhere near as successful as I was then. I feel lost because I have no idea what plans God has for me. Sometimes I feel empty because I am searching so hard for the answers and I am so desperate to know my purpose in life. I want God to tell me right now why things have happened the way they have and what is going to happen in the future. I feel all these feelings all the time- doubtful, lost, empty and desperate. Can you relate to any of these? I basically have lost faith in myself.

Why am I telling you this? I am a very confident person, I am a go-getter and I do a lot! I know that God has great plans for me. But even knowing all of this I still feel inadequate. I am realizing that my lack of faith in myself is due to my lack of patience and my lack of faith in God. I want control and it's the loss of control that makes me feel shutdown.

I keep a prayer journal that I write prayers in on a weekly basis for my family, friends and sometimes strangers. I also write down notes from sermons and devotionals. I just went back to 4/18/2010 and saw the words "just have faith" highlighted on that page. Underneath it is this note, "on your journey, the path to a miracle is always through uncomfortable territory." Yes I am uncomfortable, yes I am on a journey and yes I need a miracle. But yes, if I have faith I know that it will all happen for me.

So daily, I am going to remember that I need to have faith in God and that He has placed me on this amazing journey that He has promised me. That I need to have patience with the process. And, that I need to have faith in myself, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

Day 3 - A Scribbled Note From Church

Just a little something that stood out at church on Sunday. As I already mentioned yesterday, the sermon was on faith. But, it was also on fear and what happens if you look at your future with fear and not with faith. One thing that happens when you look at your future with fear is that you fulfill your own self-defeating prophecy. We do this all the time don't we? We want something but we internally tell ourselves that we will fail and alas, we do. My favorite part of the scribbled notes I wrote was this, "you need to believe it (the miracle) before you can see/receive it." We can pray for something, we can want something, we can ask for something and we can try for something BUT if we don't believe it can actually happen, it simply won't. Faith requires a lot of believing. Believe in yourself, your abilities and God's ability to work miracles in your life.

Day 2- I hear you God

So today was my first day of faith. Um hello God, thank you for affirming that this blog is exactly what you want me to be doing.

I am running late for church, my favorite watch falls off in front of my daughter's Sunday School class and it looks like a whole big piece is missing. I retrace my steps all over church looking for the broken piece. I'm already late and I tell myself....just have faith that it will be okay...and run into church (I was most devastated because I cannot afford to replace it and it was my 30th birthday present). I hear Pastor Rick speaking while I am walking in and these are his exact words, "Faith is the evidence of things unseen." Okay God, I'm listening. And wouldn't you know it, the whole sermon was based around what happens when you look at your future with eyes of faith, not eyes of fear. Here I am, devising this blog just the day before, God telling me it needs to be a blog about FAITH. Here I am this morning, having doubts about why I am capable of writing this blog, and then church was about having faith when you have doubts. I listened contently, I sang loudly and I left happy. I told myself not to worry about the watch and made a plan to find a way to fix it or get a new one. And then when I got home, my hubby shook his head at me, untangled some pieces and put it back together again. Just like God must be doing in my life right now. Maybe I'm not as broken as I think I am, or maybe I'm not as perfectly fixed as I thought I was at other times. I need to stop the constant inner turmoil I am having about my purpose. Maybe there is a little more untangling that needs to be done in my life and I need to remember to "just have faith that it will be okay."

Day 1 - The First Day of a New Year

Today is the first day of 2011. Usually I wake up on New Year's Day with hope and inspiration burning in my heart. I can feel all the possibilities swirling in my head and I am excited for what the new year brings. In general I am an optimist and I look at the brighter side of life. But, today I woke up tired, worn out and pretty disillusioned. I felt beat down and uninterested in what this new year stood for in my life. Not an ideal way to start the year, right?

I can remember four specific times that I have had a very intimate and life changing conversation with God, times when He told me what to do or how things would be. One was in a dream, one was in the shower, one was on an operating table and today's was in the kitchen. The one in my dream caused me to create The OC Walk to Remember as a tribute to friends that were lost to suicide. The one in the shower was when I was told not to worry about the medical problems we were scared of for my husband (and they were fine), the one on the operating table was when I was calmed down from excruciating fear in the c-section of my third child and the one in the kitchen was about this blog. I don't hide from these conversations, they are unlike normal quiet time or prayer. I know what these are and I run with them. I know to trust them.

And so here I am, awakened from my earlier despair and lack of optimism for 2011. For you see, 2010 felt unkind so how could I possibly think that 2011 would be any better? I started 2010 with extreme hope and exuberance that that year would finally be better for us, that everything would turn around and that we would get out of our rut. But it didn't and we didn't. It's funny though, in the year that felt the most unkind my faith grew the most, to proportions that don't make sense. But isn't that how it always works? God may not give us everything we want but he can make us mature and grow in ways we never could have imagined. Isn't that blessing enough? Isn't it a tangled web we weave? Where we can grow great lengths but that it doesn't fix all of our problems? That we still feel unhappy and beat down?

Let me write a little disclaimer. I have an amazing life. I am extremely blessed. We are healthy, happy and have everything that we need. All I ever really want is healthy children and to make sure our family of five is together. I am so lucky. But in life, even when we have the things that matter the most, we still have other obstacles that we have to face. We all deal with finances, personal problems, our health, are purpose, relationships... the list is endless. So while I may complain or be unhappy about what I am facing in life, know that I am forever thankful for the blessings I do have. And I count my blessings every day.

So let me cut to the chase. What is this blog? The year 2010 was supposed to be My Year of Hope. As I mentioned before, I went into it wide-eyed with possibility. I believed that the things I was most worried about would magically be fixed in 2010. And they weren't. But as I reflect on it, I realized that 2010 was the year that I learned to have real hope. Hope is that driving force that keeps you focused on the belief that things can change and that possibilities are endless. Hope made me a better person. Hope gave me a feeling that I cannot describe. And hope is what makes me take any situation and realize that I can get through is. Hope is something that I never want to live without. So although my problems weren't fixed in 2010, through a series of events and happenings, God taught me what real hope is and he gave me a year that opened me up to becoming a better human. Hope has allowed me to survive all of the disappointments that 2010 brought and to know that all of it is just temporary.

And so (I'm getting there).... I am writing this blog to detail the year 2011, My Year of Faith. One definition of faith is, "belief, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof." This blog details 2011 and my Faith in God, my faith in the promises He gives us through His word, my faith in humanity, my faith in the heart and my faith in myself. My hope is that my journey can inspire your journey. That I can find faith in the Bible, in devotions that I read, in things that I see and in others and I can share them with you to help inspire you and to help you have a Year of Faith as well. As much as we all need hope, we need faith to keep moving forward when we don't want to. After all, faith is what got me out of bed this morning and it is what prompted me to start this blog. I will be here daily to share My Year of Faith with YOU.