Day 331 - Glory in my weaknesses

When I feel like my weaknesses are getting the best of me, I have to remind myself that God has continued to use them to build me up, whether part of my personality or due to uncontrollable circumstances. In fact, everything good that has come out of My Year of Faith has started with some kind of weakness.

Surprisingly, my weakness right now is lack of faith. Not lack of faith in God, but lack of faith in myself. I just can't quite get it together and it's affecting many parts of my life. I know that I have the strength within me, but my heart isn't following. I am allowing myself to fail. Why would I do that? Part of me does not truly believe that I can follow my dreams. There is some kind of deep-seeded insecurity in me that says that I am not good enough to see them through. It's weird that someone as strong-willed and ambitious as myself can also believe that I will fail. Normally, I don't even mind failing because I believe in trying, but, right now something is holding me back. Something is allowing a lot of clutter in my life to distract what needs to be done. Something is taking away my joy. It seems like my heart doesn't truly believe that God will ever trust me with the larger assignments. I want those larger assignments so badly, but I don't want to fail God. More than anything I want to know that God believes in me.

I know that these feelings need to be addressed. I need to be content and find glory in my weaknesses. I need to take these feelings and let God use them. I need to reach deep down and believe in myself. Most of all, I just need to trust God and keep on moving forward, knowing that He put me where I am for a purpose. I need to truly be firm in who I am and then settle my identity in Christ. I think that is a huge part of faith.