Day 271 - It's your choice

There is no doubt that God has been good to us. Every situation's emotion is dependent on the way that you perceive it. It's all about your attitude. I choose to be joyful and grateful for everything that we do have, instead of curse God for what we have lost. I choose to be hopeful in all of our possibilities instead of wallowing over what we are struggling with. For someone who is highly critical, this has (and still does) take a lot of practice, but it's worth it. It's worth it to see how lucky we are. I am thankful for the people God has carefully placed in our lives over the years that have come together as a village, whether they know it or not, to help take care of us. I am thankful that somehow we still have a roof over our heads and everything that we need, we should be worse off by now. I am thankful that God has softened my heart over the last three years so that I can handle situations that used to send me over the edge. God has been working in me for quite awhile now, in fact I realize He has been working on me since I was a little girl going to Sunday school. And, although of course I struggle daily with being positive all of the time or being patient, I can see how far I have come and I can be proud of the person God is molding.

I know that things are getting better, maybe at a snail's pace, but getting better nonetheless. Things have not been easy, and I feel like some of that was on purpose. We did not get into the charter school at the lottery like everyone else, instead God had us wait until the last minute. He blessed us on His time. Everything has been like that. With patience and hope I look towards the future. When I want to cry, instead I ignore my "good jeans" that are worn out and starting to tear. I ignore the list of things that we could use. I glance past the things that would be fixed by now. I am only looking forward waiting for our turn and dreaming of a future where life feels normal again. Maybe normal financially, but it will never be normal emotionally or spiritually, and for that I am forever grateful. You have the ability to decide the emotional tone of your life.