Day 217 - Faith is not easy

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out and I feel like we are almost on the upswing, but then I blink and things are more stressful. I say to myself, "but I am being faithful, why is this still happening?" It's disheartening and I can feel our situation start to take a physical toll on my body. "God, why isn't it better yet? Why can't we be on the upswing, why can't we have something to look forward to, some kind of reprieve in our near future? I have so much faith God and I am doing everything you tell me to do. Why?"

I imagine that there are so many other people in completely different situations asking God the exact same thing right now. So, when I feel anxious and frustrated I remember what God has made very apparent to me. That I need to lean on Him, cry out to Him and trust in Him and never stop. That I need to be content with less. Every month I think that it can't be worse and then it gets worse. I realize that I can continue to live on less and make ends meet with His grace. That God's plans are delicate and purposeful and I need to patiently wait for them to roll out the way He has intended. They are not my plans. And, that I need to have faith, not fear. I need to practice this every day, even in the scariest of circumstances. Lots of deep breaths and lots of praying.

Faith is not easy. Having faith means you cannot give up, be dramatic, cry all day or lose hope. It means you have peace and joy even when no one expects you to. Faith is setting an example for others and reassuring those around you that God is in control. Faith is believing that you can get through anything because you have peace in your heart. Faith is knowing that God will fulfill all of His promises in time.