Day 207 - Lynnae's Story

Today's post is a story of faith from an amazing woman of God who inspires me constantly. Please keep her in your prayers as she is having surgery this Thursday.

It seems like everywhere we turn there is so much disease, illness, incurable conditions that surround us everyday. Yet, a lot of the time I have to stop and remind myself that I am living hope that no matter how we were born or what we end up with in life that effects our health is not our plan, it’s God’s plan, He designed us this way and we are no flaw in His eyes. Just as Psalm 139 says..”For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made… My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of earth. Your eyes saw my informed substance, in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them”. Yes, the same mother who carried me for nine months had done her duty here on Earth was called back to heaven 10 months after I was born. But she left me with something, a piece of her that would eventually save my life.

I have an inherited heart condition called Long QT or Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome, meaning my heart can and has twice gone into cardiac arrest with no warning. 12 years after my mom passed away my family was diagnosed with this disorder, what a blessing in disguise that we finally had an answer to my mom’s unexplained death back in 1979, but on the flip side, I and many of my mom’s side of the family were diagnosed with this incurable heart condition. It wasn’t until January 17, 2000 that the fear of having this condition became a reality. It was an early morning, I had just turned 21 three days prior, when our phone rang which sent me into cardiac arrest due to the startling of my heart. Little did my sister know that after she answered that phone call that God put her a few feet away from me for a reason. Within seconds I was gasping for air, barely breathing and unconscious, she thought I was having a bad dream and went to wake me, she had no luck, she yelled for my parents who called 911 as they were rushing into my room. Somehow, only by the grace of God did I come out of cardiac arrest. That morning I could have died, but I realized God was not through with me yet. I was rushed to the ER and test after test and 3 days later the decision was made to implant a defibrillator. At the end of that evening I was scared, worried, alone and I didn’t want to sleep for fear that I would have another episode. God met my fears that night in Mission Viejo Hospital, as my life verse says in Jeremiah 29:11 “ For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope”. He sent a young girl to talk to me to ease my fears and to know that my life will go on, and it did. Months passed by and I had to learn to live with this foreign object in my chest. I was only 92 lbs and it stuck out like a brick, I was so self conscious, never wearing anything that showed it, but once again those thoughts of insecurity turned into a daily reminder that my life was spared. From then on it has never affected me.

Years later I became pregnant which was another risk, we were taking the chance that our children had a 50% chance of inheriting this condition and not to mention that I could have an episode again. As my husband and I prayed over our future children we often thought, what are the odds of them not getting it, I mean my grandfather, mother, Aunt, Uncle, 5 cousins and 1 that already passed away at the age of 19 all had this. What were we thinking?? God was thinking different and His plan was different for them, He blessed us with 2 pregnancies, episode free during both of them and best of all our two healthy children have both tested negative for this condition. What a miracle our prayers were heard and answered!

Three months after my first pregnancy in 2007, God gave me another reminder that He was in control. I went into cardiac arrest again, but my defibrillator did it’s job and settled my racing heart that was beating at 278 beats a minute. This gave me assurance that the technology that God provided saved my life and for once I was not fearful! Since then I have had no other episodes, except fast forward to a few weeks ago. I knew my battery was getting low and as I was sitting at work I heard it beep (a normal notification letting me know it needs to be replaced) but I didn’t expect my heart to start racing, in the 3 minutes it was racing, fear set in real quick, I didn’t know if it was malfunctioning, if it was an episode, or if I was just having anxiety from hearing the beeping noise. After being startled, I quickly began to pray and right away that fear went away and my heart began to pace back to normal. Little did I know that I wasn’t having an episode but the device went into test mode for a few moments pacing my heart, some test that was, maybe though it was to test my faith that once again God is in control and I am not! In a few days from now, on Thursday, July 28th, I will be having surgery to replace my 3rd defibrillator, am I worried? Of course I am nervous, but I have peace knowing that everything will be ok, God will be with me, the Dr’s and my family and again He will get me through this!

I live with this heart condition everyday, I see my defibrillator and scar everyday, it’s a reminder that I am not perfect, none of us are perfect, I don’t have a perfect heart, but to me it is like a diamond, it has it’s flaws, just as diamonds do, it’s a rare heart, a precious heart filled with love, hope and most of all faith. It’s a heart I am happy to live with, a heart that God has blessed me with, it’s a one of a kind heart, a heart that makes me, well ME!
Lynnae Williams