Day 203 - Love we give out

As I write this it's 5:25am and I have been up for quite awhile now. My sweet baby is really sick and so I have spent every second being available for him, even in my sleep and in his. I can't help but think of something I heard a few weeks back about how we cannot expect other people, including loved ones and friends, to meet our needs the way we want them to. If we have those expectations we will be sorely disappointed through out our lives. Other people are not you and they are not capable of being you, therefore they cannot act and do exactly as you want them too. Doesn't this ring true for our spouses, our children, our family members and our friends? I know a few people who are always mad at everyone else, because no one is giving him or her what he or she feels they deserve. That is a lonely life to live. No one can live up to your expectations, and yes, I have had this argument many times with my husband for not being romantic enough, for not listening enough and for not knowing exactly what I needed. But I can think of times I was disappointed by a friend or family member for similar things too. I deeply wanted them to understand what I was going through and to be the perfect friend in return. When they weren't I felt lonely, angry and mad.

So, while I was gazing at my sweet, sickly baby's face with great care and concern, overly tired from lack of sleep, I realized that all we can do is pour out as much love and care as we can to the people we love and the people around us in hopes that they can return it to us the best that they can. That we need to get the kind of confirmation that we want not by what we get from others, but by what we give to others and how that makes us feel. And, if we are in the kind of need where we just want someone to love us profoundly, ask God for that kind of love. He can reach that level. We need to stop expecting the world of others, we need to be more reasonable and we need to allow others to love us the best way that they know how. Just because I pour every ounce of love into my sweet babies, doesn't mean that they will grow up remembering the long nights that I nursed them to health. They won't be able to properly return that love, but hopefully by feeling a lifetime of love and dedication from me, they will love me back despite all my faults and let me stay close to them forever and in the process learn our values and morals by example. We can cultivate so many relationships this way and hopefully allow others to surprise us with the ways that they love us back.