Day 37 - Mind and heart

It's hard to change, I know this firsthand and I also know that it is a process. I am assuming that this process takes a lifetime. I am hoping that when I am a little old lady and I know my time is about to come, that I will be proud of the life I have lived and who I was at the end of the journey. I hope I am full of wisdom and peace.

I know I am changing right now and I have been for a while. I can feel my confidence building, peace in my heart and I can feel myself making decisions based on the principles of the bible. My attitude on life has changed. I am becoming less concerned about my needs and more concerned for others. I see that I am caring less about the approval of people who are not good for me. I like these changes and even though they are happening slowly and in small increments, their impacts are profound.

One thing I have noticed is that you cannot change just your heart or just your mind; you need to do both. Sometimes I see people who are going through extreme hardships and they say they have changed but when they speak their words still sound the same. They are still anger, bitter or selfish. Their mind has changed but the heart hasn't yet (or vice versa). It's hard to grow when you are in conflict with yourself. That's why I go to church; somehow through sermons and readings, I see how to fix both my heart and my mind. It's like chicken soup for my soul.

I still have a long way to go. I am controlling, a know-it-all and I don't like to be told what to do. I still have some hurt in my heart that I need to let go of. But, I have changed so much. I know a lot are growing pains; I am maturing and seeing the world and my priorities differently. I know a lot is God working in me and my openness to change and to obey. A huge part is my attitude. If I try and look for the positive in everything I find so much more to be grateful for. Right now while we are struggling financially I am more thankful than ever for the roof over our heads and the health of our family.

I think that what I am trying to covey is that if you are feeling lost and you need hope in your life or if you are trying to change because you keep getting in your own way, just remember that you have to be willing to change your mind and your heart. You have to be willing to change your attitude. This means you will have to do things that make you uncomfortable, let go of hurt, be held accountable for your decisions and make others a priority. You will have to open wounds and listen intently. You have to be willing to actually apply what you learn at church in your life. We are all imperfect and selfish because we are human, but we also all have a chance to have a wonderful and amazing life no matter how much or little we have. But it’s all up to us. It’s up to your attitude.

"Be made new in the attitudes of your minds." Ephesians 4:2

"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is evil. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:9-10