Day 149 - What do you do with disappointment?

We have faced a lot of disappointment lately. Mark has to hear that job prospects have passed on him; that is beyond rough after awhile. I have sent a bunch of emails to pastors for guidance with a future writing career and they have essentially passed on me too. Yesterday, we found out that Brody did not get into the charter school I have been praying about, I was really bummed. After awhile you start to wonder why God won't allow something good to happen. Mark's response to not getting into the school was, "why couldn't God give us this one little thing in the face of so much disappointment." It's a good question. At this point we are walking around expecting for people to keep saying no, and it keeps on happening. We are feeling a little broken; okay a lot broken.

I don't want to be a victim. In our circumstance it is so easy to see how people become bitter. Bitter towards their past employer, the government, God, life in general and the humanity of others. Bitterness is something that creeps up in you and evades your whole being. Bitterness comes out in anger and judgment. I don't want to be that family that complains all the time and feels like their life is so much more unfair than others. How do you walk that fine line when life truly feels unfair but you don't let it victimize you? I guess the answer truly is faith.

In my face of disappointment over the charter school I went searching through my prayer journal for some sort of answer to handling reoccurring disappointments.

* To live a spirit filled life we have to have an inner dynamic to handle life's pressures, we can be joyful regardless, and we have little difficulty maintaining a positive attitude of unselfishness, servant hood and humility.

* Our hearts never need pouring out more than when they are filled with the toxic waters of bitterness.

* You will be offended by God in your life but you must trust that He is trustworthy

* Trusting God completely means having faith that God knows what is best for your life. You expect him to keep his promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.

I can't say that reading all of this instantly makes me feel better, I still feel discouraged. I can however keep these words close to my heart to help block any bitterness or anger I may feel, especially towards God. I can hang my heart on them and allow myself to still feel hope and faith for our future.