Day 132 - Why God?

I'm not going to sugar coat it today, I just want to ask God, "did you forget about us, what else do we need to do to get out of this?" I'm feeling really down, worried, and heartbroken because, let's face it, things are getting further away from getting better. I never in a million years would have thought that our life would be where it is right now. I want to scream, "Why are you still punishing us?"

I know these feeling are just temporary, but yesterday was one of those days that made me question my faith. It made me question everything. The only thing that saves me from a total broken heart from God is that I can look at my babies safe and sound in their beds at night and be thankful for their health, safety and a roof over our heads. I don't know what else to do. I just want to throw my hands up in the air, tell God I give up and curl up in my bed. I feel defeated because we have tried so hard to get through this. I have had enough faith for an army, yet here we are. I feel like God has abandoned me and I haven't felt Him speak to me in awhile.

I just don't know.

My new friend Irma shared this powerful bible verse:

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people." - Genesis 50:20

My hope is that I will be reflecting on this verse one day while thinking about this exact moment in time.