Day 175 - Let go

It's hard for me to convey all of the emotional pitfalls I have faced over the last few years. God has taught me how to let go of control, lose possessions, give up things that were defining me, lose my routines and how to say goodbye to friends, which is never easy. At the end of last year I watched my best friend move away. That was hard balancing my own sadness and loss of control while trying to not make her move about me. I also felt inept at trying to be there for her emotionally during her transition. It was a big life lesson on so many levels.

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to friends that I love dearly. Not only do I cherish the fact that they have become like family, they are also Madden's godfather (or godfamily). Navigating the feelings of happiness for their new life adventure and my sadness to see them go is a weird place to be in. I just don't like to let go for my own personal and selfish reasons, but I know that my life doesn't just consist of my feelings, but also consists of the feelings and experiences of all the people around me. I also know that true friends have no boundaries or limitations.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18:24

I guess what I am trying to say is that God has taught me how to let go. He didn't just do it once, He keeps doing it over and over again. He has done it with friends, with our house, with control, etc. He has taught me how to open my arms, close my eyes and let free whatever needs to be free. And, he has been teaching me how to be okay with that. I have always struggled in my life with trying to hold on to things tightly, but now.... I let go more freely. It makes me feel freer. It makes life a lot less about me. It makes me realize what is truly valuable, like holding onto friendships wherever they may be.